


Come Away With Me

by Shoumai



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Depression, M/M, Meant to be sweet though, Rated for safety, The great cross-post continues!, depressed thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 11:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15218417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shoumai/pseuds/Shoumai
Summary: Tabris' observations of humanity and his love for Shinji. Because, of course, there is always love between them





	Come Away With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the next one from the collection thus far. It's so much easier when I'm just transferring an already done fic than editing a new one. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion

.................

 

Tabris is an angel.

Even though part of his DNA is lilim he is not a lilim himself. He knows this, understands it and it at perfect peace with those facts. He finds lilim fascinating, their culture, their creations, their mindsets. They are beautiful things, warm and made through living and Tabris finds he loves them.

The lilim do not love him, though. They find him strange and unpleasant; abnormal. Among then there is one that stands out, however. He is not like the others. He is quiet, and sad, and fragile, and lovely. The boy is the epitome of loneliness. He hides himself away behind music and obedience; going along with whatever he is told to avoid being cut open by words - his or someone else's. 

The first time Tabris sees the boy hidden away he is charmed by all that he sees. He approaches the boy carefully; with talk of the music he so clearly treasures and the promise of warmth. Within a matter of words the angel is completely enraptured with the existence of Ikari Shinji.

Soon Shinji is in everything where Tabris finds beauty. The vast sky as blue as his eyes, the music they share together, and his new name 'Kaworu'. (The name that Shinji says so beautifully it could be a song all by itself.) Shinji slips into the gaps between thoughts and soon Kaworu is always thinking of him.

The world is beautiful and Kaworu wants to find ways to share that beauty with Shinji. (Because Shinji is fragile and sometimes even the gentlest touch causes his heart to crack like fine crystal.)

It is slow going but worth it for every smile, every laugh, every breath. Kaworu works to repair Shinji's old hurts and swiftly treat any new ones. It's a ceaseless task and Kaworu soon comes to realize that the lilim don't understand Shinji either.

That revelation, coupled with soothing Shinji in his arms, makes up Kaworu's mind for him. 

Shinji deserves happiness. Shinji deserves love.

Shinji deserves better.

So Kaworu takes Shinji away from the ones who are always hurting him. He wraps him in love and soft touches, a warm home, and endless care.

The lilim do not like it. "He is not yours," they say. "You can't have him. Give him back."

Kaworu is not the least bit effected by this. "It's not your choice to make, it was his. If you wanted to keep him you should have taken better care of him." He does not look back at them for even a second. As angry as he is with them they are not worth the time that could be better spent on Shinji.

...

Shinji has never thought much of himself. He knows what he is, a weak-willed and useless cast-off of a person. The sort of person who ought to die but is too cowardly to do so.

Even **he** doesn't know what he wants anymore. He wants to be close to someone but being close hurts. He wants to be alone but being alone hurts. He tries to do something but it just ends up hurting him, doing nothing ends up hurting him too. Shinji does not want to hurt. But everyone hurts him and no one hurts him and Shinji is so tired of it all.

Then there is Kaworu. Kaworu is strange but welcoming. Shinji finds himself drawn into the paler boy from the first time he sees him. There was something so easy about talking to him. He didn't hurt like everyone else did. He was gentle and always knew what to say.

Shinji opened himself up to him, spilling out thoughts and feelings and memories that he had never shared with anyone before. That he hated his father, that he wanted to trust Misato but that he was scared. That he wants to be loved but always seems to be wrong when he tries to reach for it.

And Kaworu listens to it all, doesn't disregard a single word. He calls Shinji beautiful, tells him he's happy to be with him. When Shinji is broken and aching Kawru folds him into his warm, gentle arms.

"You're very brave." The angel tells him, fingers stroking his hair as if trying to massage his words directly into Shinji's brain.

Still Shinji protests, "I'm not." He presses further into Kaworu's arms. His touches are warm and don't hurt like everyone else's. Honestly Shinji hadn't known how cold he was util the first time the pale boy held him.

Kaworu's red eyes look at him fondly. "Oh Shinji," he says in a voice that carries so many emotions that can only be guessed at. "Everyday you go out into a world that would rather hurt you than understand you. You start your day with fragile hope and end it broken, but you still piece yourself together to try again the next morning. If that isn't bravery than nothing is."

Shinji flushes and before he can further refuse the kindness Kaworu is kissing him. Light and soft and far too brief layered with something desperately sad. "Kaworu?" Shinji asks in a small voice, the question heavy on his tongue but proper words nowhere to be found.

"I don't want to let go of you." Kaworu tells him, that desperation showing much plainer in his words and his gaze. "You'll go back to then and they'll break you again. It hurts me to let you go back to the lilim who fail to care for you."

Shinji doesn't speak, still can't find a way to respond to the declaration and care. Kaworu's words are too big inside of his head, pushing out any other thoughts. 

Kaworu seems near pleading as he holds Shinji's face. It aches to see him this way as much as it is confusing. Shinji doesn't want to deny him anything; this wonderful person who gives him so much. And yet, even when Kaworu wants something badly enough to ask for it, it is still for Shinji's sake in the end.

How can Kaworu do this? Blend selfless and selfish and call it love?

Shinji still hadn't said anything, as if he can breathe out the tangle of thoughts and feelings onto Kaworu's pale lips. Part of him believes that the pale teen can understand him like this. The 'different' in Kaworu being able to speak to the 'different' in Shinji.

Then the pleading in Kaworu's red eyes starts to cloud with resignation. There is a second that draws out forever and in it the brunet feels like he knows everything about the boy holding him. So when those pale lips begin to part it is Shinji who speaks. 

"Okay." He says first, trying to be reassuring with his answer. "I won't go back if you don't want me to."

Kaworu looks startled, then his mouth closes and he pulls it into a smile that is sad. "Hearing you say that makes me happy. But Shinji, it's not about what I want. You have to make choices based on what you want."

The kindness he is being given settles in Shinji's chest strangely, painful and sweet. He graps the angel's shoulders, surprising him again. "I want to stay with you. I don't want to be hurt again, and I don't want to see you like this." In a moment of bravery he leans in and kisses Kaworu and, like always, he's accepted.


End file.
